Epilogue-New Lives in New Jersey

Alice Parker sat in Newark International Airport, but she didn’t feel the usual warm, bubbly feeling that came with being home. Sure, everyone said “cawfee” and nobody would think she sounded funny, but as she sat on the bench waiting for her luggage to come around on the carousel, Alice’s heart was aching. It had been almost two months since breaking things off with Sidney, but things weren’t getting much easier as the time went on. When she packed up her things in her office, she had hardly been able to tear the shitty penguin picture Sidney had drawn for her off of the wall. She cried as she dumped the tuque, CD, and jerseys he had gotten her into the trash. She felt naked as she slowly took off each and every single piece of jewelry he had given her, and put it in a small lock box so that she could pawn it later. So as she sat in the airport, she wasn’t surprised that a tear rolled down her cheek to rest on the hands which Sidney had so often held. She knew that in a way, it was her fault that they were done. Sidney had tried to apologize. He had tried to get her back….but she was too stubborn to accept his apology, and she didn’t know if she could ever face him again to admit that she too had messed things up. A light hand clasped her shoulder, and she looked up into the chocolate brown eyes of Marc-Andre Fleury.

“Marc, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be,” she whispered, and Marc nodded in agreement. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. While everything about New Jersey was familiar to her, it was all new to him. The most he ever saw of Jersey, as he had admitted to Alice on the plane, was what he saw when he was playing at the Prudential Center. It was mid-July, and Marc and Alice were ready to head into the sweltering Jersey sun to start their new lives.

Marc had been approached and asked to drop his no-trade clause in his contract. After a lot of thought, he said that he would drop it if a deal could be made with the Islanders, Rangers, Devils, or Flyers. Alice didn’t know it, but he wanted to stay close to her. He knew that she was having a rough time dealing with the breakup, and he wanted her to know that he was going to be there for her no matter what. The Devils, suffering with the retirement of Martin Brodeur, had jumped on the opportunity to sign Marc, and they quickly agreed on a seven year, 49 million dollar contract with a no-trade clause. Marc found an apartment much like the one that him and Alice had in Pittsburgh, and rented it immediately. Alice was the first person to know about the trade, and so they decided that they would stick together in Jersey.

Their luggage finally came rolling by on the carousel, and Marc grabbed it quickly. Alice took her bags from him, and they headed out into the oppressive humidity of a typical July afternoon in New Jersey. 

49

I could hardly bring myself to watch the series. I cheered halfheartedly as Ilya Kovalchuk raised the Stanley Cup over his head, and the smile that usually spread over my face as I watched the whole Cup ceremony just couldn’t surface. Smiling was one of those things that hurt to do, and as I curled up on the couch and watched the scene unfurl before me numbly, I wondered what had gone wrong in my life.  Sidney had looked just as lost and confused as I felt as the camera panned past him in game 7 of the Eastern Conference Championships, but I knew that his loss and confusion was over the Cup, and not over me, the woman he had claimed to love. A spark of anger grew in my chest, and I clenched my fists tightly as the tears flowed down my cheeks once more.

^^^^^^

It had been twenty two days since I saw Alice. I felt the pain in my chest growing all the time, but I knew that I couldn’t ever repair the damage I had done. The whole time I was on the ice, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had done. Hockey suddenly was drudgery. Life was suddenly dark and lonely. I didn’t know what to do, or where to turn as I walked into the building where she worked for an interview, prepared with a full apology to her, with the ring in my pocket, silently praying that she would accept my apology, and that everything would go back to the way it was. I arrived twenty minutes before the team was supposed to, and I headed directly to the floor where the sports department was located. I walked into the conference room where our interview was supposed to be, and froze as I saw a strange woman sitting where Alice usually sat.

“Where’s Alice?” I asked quietly.

“Didn’t you hear? Alice resigned a few weeks ago. She said something about personal issues. She’s going back to Jersey in a few weeks I think.” The woman said. I felt my stomach lurch as I stumbled blindly out of the conference room. My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes. What have I done? I’ve ruined it. I’ve ruined everything.

“Marc!” I screamed as Marc walked into the building. He paled as he saw the expression on my face, and I’m sure everyone could tell I had been crying.

“Sid…” Marc said quietly.

“Where is she? Where is Alice?” I asked, grabbing him by the shoulders.

^^^^^^

Sidney looked like a mad-man. Tears had stained his cheeks, his eye was still mildly bruised, and he had the look of a wild animal on his face as he grabbed me by the shoulders.

“I…I don’t know.” I lied. Alice had begged me not to tell Sidney where she was. She was actually still in our apartment, but she wanted it to seem as if she had moved out.

“How do you not know? She lives with you!” Sidney cried, and I shook my head.

“No…she doesn’t. Not anymore.” I lied once more. It hurt to lie to my friend and teammate, but after seeing everything that Alice had gone through, I knew she just wanted to protect herself.

“Fuck!” Sidney screamed before running out of the building. Evgeni dodged him as he walked out of the elevator.

“What happen to him?” Evgeni asked.

“He’s suddenly realizing how much he’s fucked up.” I said with a shrug.

^^^^^^

My lungs are burning by the time I leap out of the taxi and run up the steps to Alice’s apartment. I take the steps two at a time and a few people have to jump out of my way as I finally reach her floor. I pound on the door, not caring who sees me this way. I’m going insane. My heart is broken, and I know I’ve done it all to myself. I continue to bang furiously on the door.

“Alice please! I know you’re in there!” I call out, stopping my knocking. I hear the sound of breaking glass, and I know that she’s dropped a cup or something. I hear light footsteps fleeing from the doorway, and I slide down the door, sobs wracking my entire body. I just sit with my back against her door and weep. I am a broken man, and in this moment, there is nothing I can do to fix it.

I don’t know how I’ve managed to fall asleep, but when I wake up, I’m still sitting against the door to Alice’s apartment. A man looks at me strangely as he opens the door to his own apartment and walks inside, and I just hit my head against her door. The pain of knowing she is so close, but so unreachable is killing me. Every breath I take is sharp and painful, like my ribs are broken, but I know that the only thing broken is my heart. The rest of my body is numb, and I lean my head against her door once more.

“Alice, I’ll sit here all damn night if I have to,” I call out, hoping that she’ll hear me. After sitting there in the silence for a long time, I fall asleep again.

I wake up to the feeling of someone pushing me away from the door.

“Sidney get up. You look pathetic.” I hear a voice say. It’s cold, so cold that it’s almost unnatural. I look up and as soon as I see Alice, she lets go of my shoulders. I catch myself just in time, narrowly avoiding falling back and slamming my head against the floor.

“Alice…” is all I manage to croak. She stares at me. Her eyes are hard, her entire body is stiff, and I can see all of the pain I’ve caused her. Her hair isn’t as shiny as it used to be, she’s lost weight, and I can tell she hasn’t gotten much sun. Her eyes are red rimmed, there are dark circles beneath them, and her lips are drawn into a thin line. I want to kill myself for hurting her so badly.

“Leave. I’ve had security calling me for the past twenty minutes asking me to get you out of the goddamn hallway.” Alice growls before going to slam the door shut. I quickly shove my hand in the way, and I cringe as I feel the sickening snap of breaking bones. I can hear her sigh from behind the door, and she opens it just a tad.

“Please.” I say, and she shakes her head, but lets me in. My hand is throbbing, but the physical pain is nothing compared to the emotional pain I’m feeling right now. She leans against the kitchen counter, and I keep my distance, knowing that she wants nothing more than to get rid of me.

“Alice I fucked up.” I say lamely. She just glares at me.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” she growls.

“I was in a bad spot…I was freaking out over the playoffs, and I didn’t know what I was saying or doing half the time.” I said.

“Sidney I’m tired of that excuse! You’ve treated me like shit these past few months, and then you blame it on the stress of the playoffs! I understand you’re the captain of your team, and that it was a huge ordeal for you, but at the same time, you needed to man up and treat me right! Just because you’re stressed doesn’t give you the right to break my fucking heart Sidney Crosby!” Alice screamed, tears leaking out of her eyes. I felt my knees getting weak, and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying to find the words to say.

“And I realize that now Alice…” I croaked.

“Sidney, I’m sorry…I know you’re trying to fix this…but I don’t do second chances. I can’t forgive you every time you do something like this. I know that next year will be like this all over again. And the year after that. And all of the times you play in the playoffs. I’m sorry Sidney, but I just can’t go through this every single year.” Alice said quietly, tears still rolling down her cheeks. I reached out with the hand she hasn’t broken to wipe away the tears, but she slaps it away. The door opens behind me, and I hear Marc stop in his footsteps as he takes in the scene before him. He quickly leaves once again.

“Please Alice, let me try and fix this. I love you, and I need you.” I pleaded, but Alice shook her head.

“Sidney, you’ve waited too long to try and fix this. If you had done this a few days…maybe even a week after, fine. But it shouldn’t take you this long to realize what you did. I’m moving on. It’s hard Sid…it’s really hard, but I have to move on with my life. I’m going back to Jersey, and there’s nothing you can do or say to stop me. Maybe in a few years we can be friends again, but I will never be able to love you again. Not the way I did. I’m sorry.” Alice said, and I felt my heart crumble even more. Tears made my vision blurry once more, and I took a step back from her.

“So this is it then? This is goodbye?” I asked quietly. Alice nodded somberly, and then took a step towards me. Her lips crushed against mine, and something in my chest blossomed, but my mind knew that it was only a goodbye kiss. I relished in the kiss, trying to remember the exact way her lips felt against mine, how she tasted like cherries and mint, and then it was over.

“Goodbye Sidney.” Alice whispered, and I walked out of the apartment. It was done, and I couldn’t fix it. I hailed a taxi, and told the cabbie to take me to the hospital. If I had to fix my broken life, I might as well start with my body.

AN: This is the end of Bringing the Devil Out of Me. I know it's not the happy ending you expected, but I promise things will get better in the sequel. Things are going to change for the Penguins, and Alice. I just hope you guys won't kill me for the changes I'm planning :D

48

"Marc I just don't get it!" I said, tears threatening to spill over once more. I wasn't upset about rooting for the Penguins, considering that my fiancee and our friends made up the entirety of the team. I was upset about the fact that Sidney thought I was rooting for him to fail. Marc patted my back comfortingly, and handed me the box of tissues.

"Alice, he's just nervous, and not having you root for us makes us all a little nervous. You’re our lucky charm…and guys really love seeing their girls rooting for them. It’s completely egotistical, but it’s the truth.” Marc explained, and I sighed heavily.

“Do you think I could get away with wearing the jersey he gave me when he proposed?” I asked.

“I’m not too sure about that.” Marc frowned, but he pulled out his phone, which had begun to ring.

“Hey Sid…” he said quietly. I heard Sidney talking on the other line, and I could hear the anger in his voice, and that just made me start to cry again. Marc stared at me wide eyed as he tried to hold the conversation with Sidney.

“No, she’s here right now. Yeah…no…well what did you expect, pulling a move like that? Yeah, I’d say that. No, probably the biggest ass in the universe would suit you better. Mmhmm. Nope, I’d rather you not do that right now. Yeah. No, I would prefer if you stayed home right now. Shut the hell up and go to bed Sidney. We’ll talk tomorrow at the morning skate.” Marc said. His voice was layered with anger, and he hung up the phone quickly.

“What was that about?” I asked, hiccupping.

“He wanted to know if you were okay…and then he wanted to come over and apologize, but he needs to realize what he did and not be forgiven in a heartbeat.” Marc said.

“Forgiven in a heartbeat?” I asked.

“You and I both know that you forgive him for everything way too easily. Don’t give in this time Alice. You’ve gotta stand your ground with him sometimes. He’s used to getting everything he wants, and you have to be the one to let him know that he can’t always have it.” Marc explained.

“So what jersey should I wear tomorrow?” I asked quietly.

“Wear the one he gave you when he proposed…it’ll be a compromise. If he can’t accept that…well, would you want to be with a control freak anyway?” Marc asked before walking into his room. He slammed his door a little too loudly, and I cringed before making my way into my own bedroom. I flopped onto the bed and began to sob into my pillows.

^^^^^^

I lay in my bed and listened to her sobbing for what seemed like the millionth time in the past few months. She genuinely loved Sidney, but he was such an asshole sometimes. I wanted to punch him square in the face, give him another black eye for making her cry like this…but I had no right to be so angry about another guy making her upset. A dark, brooding feeling blossomed in my chest every time I saw them together, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I had feelings for Alice that I shouldn’t. I rolled over on my bed and pulled a pillow over my head, trying to drown out the sound of her crying. I could picture her delicate little frame shaking in that bed of hers, and my heart ached. After suffering through a nasty breakup with Vero only weeks before Alice moved in, I knew the pain of losing someone you loved. I knew what Sidney was going to do if she wore the Brodeur jersey, and I knew she was going to be miserable if she wore her Pens jersey, so I opted for the path less traveled and told her to wear the Devils/Crosby jersey. I just prayed that Sidney would take it as a compromise, and not as her being obstinate. I decided to pack her Pens jersey in my bag just in case, but I also knew that if Sidney couldn’t accept both sides of her life, she might leave him instead of him leaving her. I was an outsider looking in on their relationship as it crumbled, and I was entirely sure if I wanted to help salvage it. The uncertainty made me feel like a horrible person, because I knew that both of my friends would also crumble if their relationship failed. I just hoped that everything would work out in the end. I eventually fell asleep, and all of my worries were temporarily swept away.

^^^^^^

I shifted nervously from foot to foot as I waited outside the locker room for Sidney. I was wearing the Devils jersey he had given me, along with black leggings and my black and white Chuck Taylor low tops. My heart was pounding so fast it made me dizzy, and my stomach was doing flips as I struggled to remember how to breathe. I twisted the engagement ring on my finger nervously, and as the door opened up, I felt like I was going to throw up all over the place. Max walked out first, immediately gathering the extremely pregnant Annabeth into his arms and kissing her cheek. A few more of Sidney’s teammates walked out next, but when Evgeni walked out, I knew I was doomed. Sidney followed him closely, and as soon as he saw me, his gaze hardened. All he did was walk over, and quietly slip the ring off of my finger.

“Sid…” I croaked, turning so he could see the number on the sleeve.

“No Alice…just…this is too important for me to be okay with compromise. I need to know you’re behind me one hundred percent. I’m sorry…” he said before walking away. I watched as he tucked the ring into his pocket and hung his head sadly. Evgeni wrapped an arm around his shoulder and turned to glare at me. I felt my legs give out from underneath me, and I collapsed to the ground, sobs shaking my entire body. I knew some of the guys were staring at me, but I didn’t care. In that moment, my entire world was collapsing in around me. I cried until I couldn’t breathe, and then I cried some more. I felt like my heart was being torn in two, and deep inside I knew that Sidney would never go back on this decision. I also knew that I couldn’t bear to be with someone who couldn’t accept my decisions, or at least compromise with me. Hockey was Sidney’s career, and his entire life until he met me, but now I knew that when it came to love, Sidney Crosby could only love one thing; hockey. I peeled off the jersey and threw it to the ground, revealing the Crosby tee-shirt I had been wearing underneath, and kicked it away from me. I felt thin arms wrap around me, and I sobbed even harder as Marc held me to his chest and muttered sweet nothings to me in my ear to try and calm me down.

47

My worst nightmare was becoming a reality. The Penguins defeated the Capitals 4 games to 2, and the Devils had defeated the Rangers 4 games to 1.

Sidney was going to be playing the Devils…not only was he going to be playing the Devils, but he was going to be playing the Devils for the position of Eastern Conference Champions. I sat on the couch in my apartment and gnawed on my bottom lip as I watched ESPN’s team matchup. The odds were pretty much dead even, and I had no clue what was going to happen. Everyone at work was hounding me over the whole ordeal, and even Sidney was ribbing me about it. Marc came walking out of his bedroom, and sighed heavily as he looked at me.

“Alice, mon cherie, why are you worrying so much about this whole thing?” he asked, dropping down on the couch beside me. I simply groaned and turned the TV off. Marc pulled me into a hug, and I could hear him chuckle quietly.

“What?” I asked.

“You know we’re going to win anyway, so quit worrying about it.” Marc smirked, and I slapped his chest playfully.

“You’re a jerk, you know that?” I asked, and Marc simply laughed again. Just then there was a knock at the door, and I jumped up to answer it. Sidney was standing there in a gray tee, black shorts, his usual sneakers, and his eye was still bruised shut.

“Sid!” I squealed happily, and Marc rolled his eyes.

“You didn’t know he was coming?” Marc asked. I shook my head and dragged Sidney into the apartment. Marc stood up and grabbed his keys off of the coffee table.

“I’m going to Staalsy’s for a bit, see you two kids later.” he grumbled before quickly leaving the apartment. I raised my eyebrows, but then I saw the look on Sid’s face. I knew that dark, brooding look, and I groaned inwardly. He was freaking out again. I took his hands in mine and pulled him onto the couch, but he just stared at me with one eye and I sighed.

“Sid…why are you still nervous? You’ve done so well during the playoffs, why do you feel like you’re going to fail now?” I asked quietly, and Sidney took his hands from mine. I dropped my hands onto my lap and felt confusion blossom in my chest.

“I’m nervous because now you’re going to root for them.” he said, spitting out the last word with a bitter look on his face. I stared at him, dumbfounded, for a few seconds, and then raised my eyebrows.

“What do you mean? You even said that if I switched colors you’d be…” I started, but Sidney cut me off.

“Okay with it? Honestly, I’m not okay with it. None of the other guys have to worry about their girlfriends or wives cheering for the other team. Especially not for something this big. If we lose this round, we go home. If we win, we get to play for the Stanley Cup. Alice, I can’t deal with you rooting for the Devils. I…I thought I could, but I just can’t. It honestly hurts.” Sidney explained.

“Sid…how…why?” I asked.

“Because I feel like you don’t love me enough to root for my team. I know the Devils have been there your whole life, but we’re supposed to get married. I know it sounds stupid, but I just can’t do it Alice. I just came here to tell you that. If you wear your Devils jersey on Saturday, I’ll know that you’ve made up your mind and that we’re done…” Sidney said before standing up. Tears welled up in my eyes.

“Wait a minute Sidney Crosby! You’re going to dump me? Over hockey?” I asked, sadness and anger welling up in my voice as tears began to spill from my eyes. Sidney hung his head.

“No, but I will dump you if you can’t choose me over anything else.” Sidney said coldly, and I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

“You are such a jerk! I have been choosing you Sidney! I’ve chosen you all along!” I screamed, and he just turned and left the apartment. I collapsed onto the floor and began to sob. For once, the ring on my finger made me want to die instead of smile. What is going on with our relationship?

AN: I am so sorry about essentially abandoning my stories on blogger T.T I really am. I've been using mibba lately, and I'm actually thinking of transferring these storeis onto Mibba so that everything could be in one place so I'm not neglecting any of my fictions. Feedback?